Urban Translations

Many times we have been asked to explain the differences between Finland and Kansas. My hosts often joke that everything in America is bigger, from cars to hamburgers. We often laugh at each other about the differences, and the Scandi-Kans (our team) has yet to truly figure out the purpose of the hose looking thing attached to the sink in some public restrooms. On the lighter side, this is round one of the Urban unofficial Kansas-Finnish translation guide. Round two to follow after I catch up on sleep.

BREAKFAST
Kansas: Cold pizza or grabbing a protein bar and coffee on the way to your car

Finland: 6+ option breakfast featuring oatmeal, salmon, rye bread, cheese or Brie, fresh berries, espresso and/or coffee, bran flakes, 2-3 kinds of milk, juice, sliced turkey or beef, pastries, and maybe a small piece of dark chocolate to cap off the third cup of coffee that just went down the hatch

MAJOR SPORTS
Kansas: Baseball, Football, Basketball, Soccer, Hockey, Tennis, Golf.

Finland: Hockey, Hockey, Basketball, Soccer, Hockey, Finnish Baseball, Hockey, Soccer, Hockey.

COLD WEATHER
Kansas: Anything below 30 fahrenheit. Snow? Let the media frenzy begin.

Finland: I can feel my legs and my face, it's a nice day.

ANGRY BIRDS
Kansas: Video game application that was developed by the Finns

Finland: Groups of birds that are pissed off when they travel several hundred miles to the middle of Finland tricked into thinking that it is Spring, only to be snowed on a few more times. (I think they developed the video game application from this phenomenon, you should see the angry birds)

MY FISH PREFERENCES
Kansas: 30 more seconds and my fish sticks should be ready from the microwave, time to defrost the tarter sauce

Finland: Pass me the knife, we just pulled Suzy Salmon out of the smoker, straight from the sea.

SAUNA
Kansas: Mid-August, driving in your car before the AC fully kicks in

Finland: Located in every home, some businesses and schools -- where people go 2-3 times a week or more to relax -- followed by fellowship and drinks. As one of my hosts put it, in the Finnish Bible, there was an amendment to Genesis that states, "On the 7th night, after the rest of the world was resting, God created sauna for the Finnish people because he realized he created a country that was too darn cold."

WHITE WINE
Kansas: White wine

Finland: Koskenkorva (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koskenkorva)

HISTORICAL RIVAL
Kansas: Missouri - home of the Tigers, need I say more KU fans?

Finland: Russia - where the former President can next be the Prime Minister, and then subsequently be elected as President and given more power.

SHOWER AND BATHROOM
Kansas: Fully enclosed shower. Bathrooms standard in public and private places, except for truck stops, where you can take a shower, play fake gambling or buy a metal decal or coffee mug on your way to the can.

Finland: In homes, it is the room in the way of the sauna. Typically an open area with no walls, a squeegee to push the excess water down the drain, but nice heated floors and towel racks. In public places, you really don't notice what the bathroom looks like, because you are typically in sprinting formation due to the 2 pots of coffee you just had with pastries.


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